Shouting 'Lager, lager, lager.'

... and beer, cider and bluffer's guides to wine, spirits and cocktails.

No, it's not the legendary Tonto Towers Christmas party starting early, it's the publicity for one of our new titles.
The Non-Beardy Beer book is featured in the new edition of The Crack magazine. Like us, they reckon it is a perfect stocking-filler for Christmas... as do the many branches of HMV who have been ordering it in the last few weeks.



The book can be found in most good bookstores or on the desk of the buyers for the remaining bad ones. Or order it from our website or amazon... there's still time!

Stu

Distance is no object for barmy book industry

I've moaned here before about the distance our books sometimes have to travel to reach bookshop shelves but I've never been bored enough to calculate that distance, so bear with me here.

Let's say we want to supply one of our books to the Waterstone's branch in Newcastle upon Tyne - approximately 1.5 miles from our office:

That book is printed by Cox & Wyman in Reading, and delivered to us in Newcastle. According to Google Maps that's 288 miles.

We can't supply direct to Waterstone's, so we go through Gardners wholesalers in Eastbourne. That's a journey of 364 miles.

Gardners then supply that book to Waterstone's. Assuming the book would be supplied direct to the branch, that would be another 364 miles. But it probably won't be. Instead it'll go to Waterstone's centralised hub in Burton-on-Trent. That's 211 miles.

Finally, the book is sent to the store in Newcastle. Another 177 miles.

By my reckoning, the book has travelled 1040 miles.

To end up 1.5 miles away from where it was published.

The book has a retail price of £7.99, but the wholesale price that Waterstone's buy it for is obviously much less than that. How can this be economically viable? 1040 miles! That's roughly the distance from London to Belgrade. If you travelled that distance in a fairly economical car, I reckon the petrol would cost you around £120. God knows how much it would cost in a lorry full of books. It's probably very environmentally unfriendly as well, but I'm not making this point on behalf of the environment, I'm making it on behalf of common sense.

Let's not even think about what happens if the book gets returned...

Paul

New books added to the website

Our forthcoming books 9987 by Nik Jones and Make It Back by Sarah Shaw now have their own dedicated pages on our website, and you can now pre-order both from our shop. Both novels are released on 19 January 2009. Click on the covers to read more about them.


Paul

Rosalind Wyllie at Morley Literature Festival

Everything You Ever Wanted author Rosalind Wyllie will be at the Morley Literature Festival at 2pm tomorrow (Saturday 18 October) to talk about her novel. It's a free event, in Morley Library's Baker Room, so if you're in the area (Morley is not far from Leeds) why not go along to meet Roz and get a signed book? Everyone who attends will also receive a FREE short story anthology!

Paul

Be a Tonto book reviewer

Have you read a Tonto book recently? Aching to tell the world how good it is? Then why not write an Amazon review? The links below will take you directly to the 'create your review' page for our latest titles. We'll look forward to hearing what you think of them.

The Non-Beardy Beer Book
NUFC.com Toon Diary
Sin Cities
Paralympian
Everything You Ever Wanted
Being Normal
The Burglar's Dog
...and our forthcoming books:
9987
Make It Back

You can add reviews for any of our other titles by visiting the appropriate Amazon page and clicking 'create your own review'.

Paul

Google Book Search nuggets

Several Tonto Books are on Google Book Search, which, as well as allowing readers to view searchable extracts, offers some interesting tidbits of info. For example, you can see a map showing all of the places visited by Ashley Hames in Sin Cities. (The broadminded among you might be interested to check out the keywords Google has pulled out for the book.)


You can also see a map of Stephen Miller's travels from Paralympian plus info about Being Normal, Everything You Ever Wanted, Johnny Lonely, Jonny Kennedy, The Rocketbelt Caper and The Unofficial Football World Championships.

Paul

NUFC.com Toon Diary published today

Our latest release, the NUFC.com Toon Diary 2009, is published today and available from all good bookshops. A must-have for Newcastle United fans, this useful and fascinating diary is packed with facts and information compiled by NUFC.com's Mike 'Biffa' Bolam. Oh, and it's 100 percent unofficial - meaning Mike Ashley gets nowt!


It's available from all good bookshops (and Asda), including Amazon, The Back Page, Borders, Fenwick's, HMV and Waterstone's. We've also linked up with the NUFC.com website to set up a few special offers, including the chance to get a signed copy of the book. See the offers here.

Paul

Rosalind Wyllie Brent Cross signing

Everything You Ever Wanted author Rosalind Wyllie will be at Borders in Brent Cross, London tomorrow (Saturday 4 October) from 1pm to sign copies of her book. It's her first London signing, so if you're in the area do pop along and say hello.


Paul

One for fusty real-ale buffs to avoid

Here's a bit on The Non-Beardy Beer Book from the Metro newspaper: 'With contributions from a panel of independent reviewers, who tackle everything from the battle of the Budweisers to a humorous link between Foster's and masturbation, The Non-Beardy Beer Book should perhaps be avoided by fusty real-ale buffs,' says Andrew Fenwick. 'An invaluable companion to one of Britain's most popular pursuits.' Read more here.


Paul

Reviewalanche

Our new fiction titles are getting more reviews than we could have imagined. Everything You Ever Wanted has just received two favourable reviews - from two very different publications. The Bookbag contacted us yesterday to tell us that they'd given Roz FOUR STARS! Not bad at all, eh? You can read the full review here and make sure to keep checking their website as it is an interesting read.

The second review appears in the current edition of FORUM magazine - the international journal of relationships. Being unaware of such publications (I'm not tall enough to reach the top shelf of most newsagents) I was shocked at why material like this should land on my desk, but after looking through it a few times, I stumbled across their review section.



As discussed with Roz, the review is great and the last sentence is sure to make it as a cover testimonial on the second edition.
Roz will also be at Borders Brent Cross, London, this Saturday from 1pm. If you are in the area, please drop by to say hello... and buy a copy of the book that tears strips off the competition!

Stu

"Addictive stories barely contained inside"

A good review of Stephen Shieber's Being Normal can be found here, courtesy of DJ Kirkby. "This book should come with a warning label on the front cover, 'ADDICTIVE STORIES BARELY CONTAINED INSIDE'," says DJ.

All good bookshops, folks...

Paul

Stephen Shieber interviewed by Caroline Smailes

Stephen Shieber's Being Normal was this week's sunday read over at Caroline Smailes's blog, so go there to see an interview with him.


For the next couple of weeks, when you buy the paperback edition of Being Normal direct from us you will also get the ebook edition free.

Also, Stephen will be taking part in New Writing North's Read Regional event at Newcastle Central Station this Friday 26th September. There will be a 'virtual living room' set up where you can read, meet authors, and swap books. Stephen will be there between 5pm and 6pm (rush hour!).

Paul

'Gripping, cinematic, voyeuristic. A delightfully disturbing debut.'

Yesterday, The Guardian ran a piece by William Leith (Blurb your enthusiasm) about the practice of authors giving gushing quotes for book covers.

'You send the manuscript of your book to another writer, hoping they'll like it, hoping they will give you a favourable comment to put on the cover,' writes Leith. 'So you're asking somebody who is probably busy, and possibly even a rival, to do some work on your behalf, for nothing in return. Nothing, that is, beyond getting their name and comments on the cover of someone else's book.'


By coincidence, yesterday we finalised the blurb for Nik Jones's forthcoming novel 9987. Here at Tonto, the 'blurb' is not just the author quote, but also a short, hooky paragraph that appears on the back of the book. Here's the author quote - supplied by Caroline Smailes, author of Black Books:

Gripping, cinematic, voyeuristic. A delightfully disturbing debut.

And here's the rest of the blurb for 9987:

The shop is everything to him – always neat and tidy, safe and reliable, the rental DVDs carefully categorised, alphabetised and memorised.

He thinks he knows his customers, until the bloodstains begin to appear – on grubby banknotes, on porn DVDs, and on the shop's fresh new carpet.

Then the girl comes into his life, green eyes and fresh scarlet slashed beneath her thin cotton blouse. He wants to rescue and protect her. He wants to be with her. Forever.

Murky and disturbing, 9987 is a jagged, tragic crime story set in a disturbing, uncaring world where only three things are constant: fantasy, loneliness and love.

Does that work? Does that make you want to buy 9987? It's released in January, but you can pre-order now at Amazon.

(PS If you are from Ashington I appreciate that "blurb" means something entirely different...)

Paul

Non-Beardy Beer Book out today

The Non-Beardy Beer Book, our alternative guide to the UK's favourite beers and ciders, is published today. A spin-off book from the bestselling pub guide The Burglar's Dog, rather than reviewing the real ales favoured by traditional guides, this book reviews Booze Britain's one hundred bestselling brands, such as Stella Artois, Carling and Foster's.


Says Burglar's Dog mainman Mark Jones: 'It's a comprehensive and irreverent guide to the nation's favourite drink, calling 'time gentlemen, please' on the tedious real ale buff in the corner, hunched over his half of warm, flat sheep dip and his dog-eared jotter.'

The Non-Beardy Beer Book costs just £6.99 and is available from all good bookshops now, including Amazon and from us at Tonto Books.

Paul

Stephen Miller medal media coverage

As you'd expect, Paralympian author Stephen Miller is all over the national media today following his fantastic silver medal win at the Beijing Paralympics. The Sun (Miller puts Toon woes behind him) reports that, "At least there is one member of the Toon Army who can be proud of his club today. Stephen Miller put the troubles at his beloved Newcastle behind him to snatch silver at the Paralympics in the club-throw... Miller, 28, is an ardent Toon fan and got Kevin Keegan to write the foreword of his autobiography."

"The Gateshead Harrier, who struck gold at Atlanta, Sydney and Athens, looked like missing out on the medals in Beijing's Bird's Nest stadium. But he finished second after throwing a personal best of 34.37metres in his final round of the men's F32/51 event."

BBC Sport (Miller's Paralympic gold run ends) says, "Miller set a new personal best with 34.37m, but had to settle for silver."

The Times gets the distance of Stephen's medal-winning throw wrong, but says, "There was a thin silver lining for Stephen Miller, who has dominated the men's club for a decade, winning in the previous three Paralympic Games... Miller, who was born with cerebral palsy, revolutionised the discipline by introducing the over-the-shoulder throw as opposed to the front-on technique. But the rest have caught up and the 28-year-old was beaten by Mourad Idoudi, of Tunisia, who beat Miller's world record with 35.77 metres."

The Guardian (After the gold rush Miller must settle for silver solace) quotes Stephen as saying, "Silver is better than fourth, but obviously I wanted to win. Overall I'm pleased with my performance. The athlete from Tunisia threw a massive PB, but that's sport. I expected to be pushed to the limit but I fully expected 34 metres to win."

The Newcastle Evening Chronicle (Paralympic star Stephen lands silver medal) says, "Miller, the champion in Atlanta, Sydney and Athens, is an ardent Newcastle football fan - the foreword of his autobiography was written by Toon legend Kevin Keegan - and his first Paralympics defeat coincided with growing uncertainty at St James's Park."

The Northern Echo quotes Stephen as saying, "I am determined to come back from this and if I could get a medal, and gold, in London it would be a dream come true. I'll be training harder and be more prepared than ever to get that. To compete in front of a packed stadium like here is awesome and hopefully we can get some crowds like that in London."

Stephen is also featured in The Mail, The Telegraph, The Scotsman, The Herald and many more newspapers.


You can watch brief highlights of Stephen winning his Silver medal for 7 days on the BBC iPlayer (Paralympic Games Today: Beijing 2008: Day 9, 38 minutes in).

You can hear Stephen interviewed by Radio Newcastle.

And you can add your message of congratulations for Stephen here.

Paul

It's silver for Miller in Beijing

Congratulations to Tonto author Stephen Miller, who has won the silver medal in the club event at the Beijing Paralympic Games today. He set a new personal best with a throw of 34.37m, but was beaten into second place when Tunisia's Mourad Idoudi set a new world record of 35.77m.

Stephen is sure to be disappointed not to have finished first, but he has a silver medal to add to his THREE gold medals, and is sure to be back for London 2012.

Paul

How not to approach publishers, part 364758

It's been a busy and stressful few months here at Tonto Towers, so I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit. The 'how not to' blogs always spark debate following a funny or aggressive phone call, would-be author visit or dodgy query letter.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but here goes...
As I got to work this morning, there were two phone messages from writers: one was asking us to phone them back as they are a poet and want to know how to get published and the other from a writer looking for us to publish them... oh, and they'd called round in person at the office before phoning.

Rule number one: Don't turn up at a publishing house (without making an appointment) and ask for advice or whether they will publish you.
Reason: The publisher won't appreciate this approach and it will be awkward as they won't have time for you and will offer very little. You'll come away from it feeling quite rejected and may wonder why.

Grrrr... how many 'we don't publish poetry' posts do we need to write? Some recent emails didn't even have a message. One contained a generic covering Dear Publisher letter attachment with the manuscript as another attachment. I even checked the writer's website and they were moaning on about how publishers never reply. Amazing!

Not too sure how many writers out there have knocked on the door at Random House and asked them to publish their poetry collection, but I'll bet that none of them got a deal out of it.

A good idea would be to send them a letter or an email and introduce yourself. Tell them about the work and ask if they want to see it. If they want to see it, they'll ask. If they don't, they won't. That's the best way to start and certainly the kind of approach that is likely to get a response.

Anywho, I'm not having a go, just posting some thoughts and letting you know how publishers think. Indie publishers probably are that much more approachable than Mr Major, but they still don't have an open door policy. Check the publisher's website. Do they publish in your genre? Do they read unsolicited manuscripts, have certain submission windows, criteria? Why should they publish you, what makes you and your work different/marketable? Find out the name of the person you are writing to, that helps. For example, we once had a submission addressed to 'the poetry editor'. We don't publish poetry, don't have a poetry editor, but if we did, he or she would have a name.

You are selling yourself as much as you are selling your work! If you do get taken on by a publisher, feel free to comment and let us know what approach worked as I'm sure others will be interested.

And speaking of selling... Stephen Shieber will be at Borders Team Valley tomorrow - Saturday 13 from 1pm - signing copies of Being Normal.

Stu

Stephen Miller begins Beijing medal campaign

Tonto author Stephen Miller warmed up for his attempt to win a fourth-straight Paralympic gold medal by competing in the F32/51 discus event this morning. Despite the discus not being his favoured event, Stephen still managed to throw a season best distance of 15.44 metres, although finished outside of the medals.

Stephen will compete his favoured club event this Monday, 15 September at 10am UK time. Stephen is the current Olympic Champion and World Record Holder in the event.

Stephen was interviewed by Ian Payne on last night's edition of North East Tonight, which you can watch for 7 days here.

You can follow Stephen's progress and send him a good luck message here.

Paul

Another Tonto Books media frenzy

Some good media coverage at the weekend, and coming up over the next couple of days. First up, Everything You Ever Wanted author and "intriguing character" Rosalind Wyllie had a 3-page (count em) interview in The Journal.

Then Rosalind, Being Normal author Stephen Shieber, and Team Tonto were all included in a feature about ebooks in the Sunday Sun. You can get Stephen's ebook free.

Tonight, Sin Cities author Ashley Hames begins his new TV series Top Trumps at 7.30pm on Channel Five.

And on Thursday morning at 10am, Paralympian Stephen Miller begins his quest for Paralympic gold in the discus event. You can add your message of support here.

Paul

Team Miller!

A reminder that the Paralympics 2008 starts this Saturday, September 6!
Our man in Beijing, Stephen Miller is psyched and ready to give it his all. You can show your support by clicking to our Stephen Miller page and leave him a message.
We had a message from him yesterday to let us know that all is well and he's flying into Beijing today. His first event, the discus, has had a slight change and will now take place at 5pm on Sep 11 - 10am our time - and will be live on TV.

Also today, Roger Stutter will be at Gosforth Library from 2pm discussing his book, Jonny Kennedy; The Story Of The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off.

Stu